Forgotten Emotions
by VanillaVibration
Summary: After the fight with Jacob, Lucy reflects on the Incident, stirring up hurtful memories. Depressing Two-shot! Please R&R!


Lucy walked in silence through the halls of the guild. Most of the members, including Happy, we're currently repairing the guild hall after Makarov`s punch through the wall. Lucy`s brains was full of questions and doubts as she tried to come up with some sort of reason why Natsu had chosen _that_ strategy. I mean, yes she knew that it was probably the only way, but he had seemed so _excited_ to do it, and had come up with it in a flash. Which was slightly concerning, but also confusing.

Lucy had admitted to herself a _long_ time ago, that yes, she did indeed like Natsu. (Well duh.) But she knew it was way more than that, so when he abandoned her, she away her feelings into a bottle and chucked it into the ocean, where it would never be found. Because she knew, he would never love her. But this certain… event had dug up those feelings from whatever island they landed on and started to question if Natsu did indeed love her.

When the swirling question gave no sign of leaving, the blonde mage let out a sigh and sat down on the infirmary bed. It was the only room she felt slightly at peace with, the comfort of being alone. _Alone…_ Lucy felt as though she had way too much of that recently. Even with her guildmates surrounding her, she had felt… separated from them ever since the year break. Tears filled her eyes just thinking about it. They were probably just going to abandon her again, they would all get together in couples, raising families and she would be stuck alone while Natsu left her, Lucy`s heart in his hand, slowly shattering as he left with another girl. _Levy has Gajeel… Erza has Jellal… Gray has Juvia… Even Wendy has Romeo… Natsu will probably go with Lisanna. I'll be all alone… forever._

Lucy could`nt hold it in as the wet tears slowly fell down her cheeks. The whole time she had tried to keep her swelling depression hidden, but every now and then, she had to let in out, in private of course. Little did she know, half across the guild, her own lion spirit was conversing with Natsu about her.

"Loke? What`s wrong? You here to challenge me?" Natsu asked excitedly, already lighting up his fists with his signature flames. Loke just pushed him away and gritted his teeth. Loke had decided that it was time. He had given the dragon slayer time to try and figure it out, and he had sworn to Lucy not to tell, but this had gone on for _far too long._ Natsu`s ignorance was eating at Loke`s sanity, how could he not know? How did everyone in this guild fail to notice?

"Loke? What is it?" Natsu noticed his friend's obvious frustration. Loke's brows were drawn tightly together, his teeth were grinding, fists clenched. The spirit looked like he was battling a hard war with himself. "How can you be so _stupid!_ " Loke hissed, pure anger and frustration blazed in his bright eyes, and a few members looked over at the unusual sight. Noticing this, Loke sighed and grabbed the white scarf around Natsu's neck to start to drag him. "Come with me." Natsu started to struggle and yell profanities, but when Loke shot a death glare and muttered: "It's about Lucy.", Natsu immediately sobered up.

When they reached an empty room, Loke threw Natsu to the ground with surprising force. "You are such a fucking idiot!" Natsu used what little common sense he had to try and listen to what the spirit was yelling about instead of his usual brawl. "What? What did I do?"

Loke took a deep breath and started his long speech to whatever redemption that Natsu probably didn't deserve.

"Natsu, did you ever notice how Lucy`s been acting? How the spark in her eyes is duller, barely visible? Or how she constantly leaves directly after a fight, shutting herself out until she is needed?" Natsu visibly blanched, while Loke continued to step closer, his anger slowly dulling down. "Did you ever stop to wonder what happened to Lucy while you were gone? What's been _happening_ to her ever since you _abandoned_ her?" Natsu`s brows slowly sunk into panic and worry. Natsu knew Lucy hadn't been the same. But he tried to force it away and focus on the happy smiles and joyous laughs. But, the more he thought about it, the more Natsu realised how many of those moments were fake. All those kind comments and sweet gestures were cover-ups. The reality of the information hit Natsu like a bullet to the heart.

"Oh my god… Loke I'm so sorry-" Natsu started his panicked apologises, but a thick punch to his cheek stopped him. Loke looked mad and annoyed, to which Natsu couldn't really blame. This was his fault. " **Don`t. Even. Natsu."** Loke spat. The dragon slayer just looked down into the ground. "What… what happened?" Natsu whispered, Loke looked at him and just sighed, running a had through his thick orange locks.

"First it was doubt. She doubted your partnership, and her strength. She questioned everything, and tried to analyze why you left. Then, the worry. She worried about you, and all the guild members, she was scared during those accidents you that caused, you died. Then, she started the self-loathing. She started to hate herself, blame herself-" Loke choked on his words "- cut herself. All throughout the year her depression got worse. She shut us out, tried to lock us in a box. We were only trying to help. The worse part of it all, was when she realised." Natsu looked up, his eyes were wet with tears, his fist clenching so hard it bled. "S-She realised wha-what?" Natsu was stuttering, his anger at himself and his density choking his words. "She realised her true feeling for you. Then she just hated herself. Told herself she wouldn't be good enough for you." Natsu was visibly crying now, bleeding hands tearing at his hair. "She`s got it backwards." He muttered. "I`m the one not good enough for her."

Loke managed a small smile. "You`d better hope Lucy`is feeling forgiving today."

Hey! Hope you like the first part of my two-shot! I wanted to write something agsty-ish.


End file.
